Basking in someone else’s reflected glory. Even your rivals might take a step back and say “Well done.”īragging Type #6. If you simply said “I won, and I’m happy,” people would accept that as an honest expression of your well-deserved satisfaction. It’s like saying “I stole this, even though I knew it was wrong to steal.” In fact, the disclaimer makes it somewhat worse. Your disclaimer, though, calls attention to the fact that you know you’re violating the social norm of modesty. In other words, no one can argue with the fact that you actually did win at something or do something noteworthy. You may think it’s okay to talk about your accomplishment by referring to the behavior and not your internal qualities of greatness as long as you frame it with a disclaimer such as “I shouldn’t brag, but…” or “I shouldn’t blow my own trumpet but …” In this case, you’ve provided evidence that you actually possess the ability that you’re bragging about, settling the other person's epistemic hash for the moment. Drawing attention to your success with a “disclaimer.” You closest loved ones should be the only one to set eyes on such a document, should it be produced, and even then, get ready for a little bit of pushback.īragging Type #5. However, then you would run into the problem of violating the norms of modesty. We would be more likely to believe you if you produced a document written and signed by your boss describing you as the best employee to work at the company. You say that your boss said this, but we don’t know this for sure because you’re the one relating the story and it’s too vague for us to know whether or not it’s true. Here again, we have what Speer would call an epistemic problem. Without actually providing direct quotes, you relay to your friends the fact that your boss told you how clever you are and how indispensable you are around the workplace. Instead of claiming to have great personal qualities, you may think it’s okay to say that someone else thinks you have great personal qualities. Indirectly drawing attention to your own great personal qualities. Sir Alan (the M.C.): Don’t get carried away with yourself… you’re no Bill Gates. You’ve got to be careful with this, though, because you run the risk of looking like you’re fishing for a compliment, which is almost as annoying to people, and possibly more so, than just plain bragging.Ĭontestant: I think I’ve shown glimmers of brilliance since I’ve been here.
You can't lay claim to being smart, but it's okay to admit to being stupid.
Oddly enough, for whatever reason, although it’s not okay to claim to be great, it is okay to be self-deprecating by reporting on your own flaws. you really are attractive objectively) direct bragging violates the social norm against portraying yourself in such a positive light. Even if the claims can be validated, though (i.e. There’s no way of knowing for sure whether you have these qualities, and so they are forced to take your word for it. Without confirming evidence, people are not likely to believe you when you say that you possess positive qualities such as being smart, well-liked, or talented. In Speer's framework, this is the least likely form of self-praise to be believable and the most likely to violate social norms. Directly drawing attention to your own great personal qualities.
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